Where does the time go? It's been nearly a year since I posted anything, and so much has happened. I passed my LPN program, and am now a practicing LPN at a nursing home. Goodbye cell phone repair! The "baby" is nearly 3, and going through a phase which I can only liken to demonic possession.
It's strange to say to people now, "I am a nurse." I don't feel like one, yet people look to me for answers, and trust me to take care of them. It's hard. I've seen death now. I've cared for people who were dying, and regretted not making them more comfortable, or letting the day get away from me without contacting the doctor for stronger pain relief. I've seen some really shitty nurses and some really great ones. I'm trying not to be shitty. I love most of my patients, but some I just can't bring myself to even like. I feel lost at work often, like I'm just playing a role, and trying to convince people I know what I'm doing. I think I know, but there's still so much to learn.
I was accepted into the RN bridge program, so that begins the second week of January. After the year of hell I went through to get this far, it freaks me out to know I'm going back. I bought my books last week. I dragged 50lbs of books through the icy tundra back to the car with the little one screaming that he wanted a piggy back ride. I know, always have to play second to Mommy's school.